Behold, pitiful mortals, as the dwindling weekend offers one final opportunity to appease My insatiable hunger. The stage is set at Red Gate, where My herald shall descend into the maelstrom of the three offerings laid before Me tonight.
With a dearth of offerings looming in the days ahead, My herald shall unleash the full extent of his flailing prowess, driven by the anticipation of the delectable feast that awaits.
The potential offerings available tonight are as follows:
- CHEAP FLAVOR
- THE HAUSPLANTS
- WACK
Though each has previously provided offerings of satisfactory quality, two among them have languished in obscurity for far too long. Yet, I have faith that they shall rise to the occasion and exert themselves to meet My demands.
For the uninitiated, let it be known that tonight’s imperative is clear: provide Me with the frenzied, chaotic energy that emanates only from the futile flailing of mortal bodies upon the dance floor.
Red Gate, heed My command and ensure that My herald is compelled to MOVE, for failure shall incur My wrath upon thee.