What is usually the final, pitiful evening of freedom for My herald, your celebration of a long-dead queen means he will be granted another undeserved day of respite. However, this evening, he must be put to task with utmost vigor as he has been invited to a fundraiser at 648 Kingsway, where a selection of offerings will be laid before Me.
All repeat offerings shall be presented—a testament to their readiness and understanding of what is expected of them in the presence of My insatiable hunger.
The potential offerings available tonight are as follows:
MOM CUTS MY HAIR
HI-DIVE
BLUE RIVERA
These three have all previously proven their ability to provide Me with what I demand: the chaotic and frenzied energy that only emerges from humans flailing on the dance floor in a desperate attempt to please Me. They have tasted My wrath and know the stakes of failing to deliver.
648 Kingsway, heed My decree: You exist for one purpose tonight—to ensure that My herald extracts every ounce of manic energy from these pitiful offerings, to momentarily satiate My unending thirst.
Do your job tonight, 648 Kingsway. Make My herald MOVE.